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• (410): View more from Maryland

  A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.

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• (347): View more from New York

  You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose

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• (707): View more from California

  You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's speaking German to me now

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.

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• (716): View more from New York

  All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition

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