Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
