I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
one might say we're banned from that church
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
