I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
