Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
