You can't special order awesome
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
