No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
