if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dick very happy bro
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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