He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
