(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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