yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
