I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
