so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
