So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
