So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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