and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
