I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
