were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
