Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I love you.
Bad choice
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