"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do vagina's smell?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ladies don't puke and tell
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
