he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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