i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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