she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
