i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
