Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She said her name was "party"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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