I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
