should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
