butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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