i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
