The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
