She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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