sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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