I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
