Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
