listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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