so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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