bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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