too bad you live with your parents still
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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