rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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