They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
