Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
