Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize