You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
