i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
