I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
