We're like a lot better than the average bears
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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