How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize