They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
