I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
