I need help removing her.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
