So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
