chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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