I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
