Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
