i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
