the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
