i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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