Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
