You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
