i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
