Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need to sanitize my soul.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
