You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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