Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
