wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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