Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
