Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
