Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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