obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
