Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
